I had an extraordinarily beautiful experience this morning. I woke feeling sensation in my heart/sternum down to my stomach. I’ve had this before and have come to realize that I do experience things by feeling them in my body – it is not all just my brain.
This feeling carried on through breakfast and to stepping onto my yoga mat for my asana practice. This morning I was guided by my body to do a very gentle, almost meditative session, moving slow and with intention. This almost never happens where I am guided by my body. It was lovely.
The feeling carried on to my sitting for meditation. I’ve been using a book called Prayers to the Infinite by Danna Faulds. She is a yogi and poet. I went to a poem called Practice that talks about being in tune with the body during asana practice. Perfect for what I’d just experienced.
The feeling in my heart and stomach intensified as I settled in and I was almost immediately in tears. Tears do sometimes happen when I meditate, but along with it today was an intense feeling of coming home to myself, of everything being as it should be. I have had feelings of coming home before but this experience seemed to be fundamentally deeper. It was beautiful. It was a total acceptance of self, of needing to change nothing, of an end to all the critics internal and external throughout which we live our lives.
I meditate for 30 minutes. The 30 minutes was over in a heartbeat it seemed so I continued on with this one. In addition to periodic tears the first lines of the very first Radiance Sutra I ever heard sprang to mind.
There is a place in the heart where everything meets.
Mind, senses, soul, eternity – all are here.
It is what I felt. Everything was in my heart and all was right. As I’ve memorized the sutra the rest of it flowed to me.
Enter the bowl of vastness that is the heart.
Listen to the song that is always resonating.
Give yourself to it with total abandon.
Quiet ecstasy is here,
And a steady, regal sense
Of resting in the perfect spot.
You who are the embodiment of blessing,
Once you know the way,
The nature of attention will call you to return.
Again and again answer the call,
And be saturated in knowing,
“I belong here, I am at home.”
I was in the perfect spot. I was home. I pray I am called to return again and again.